You are now 10 weeks old, and I cannot tell you how much joy you have bought to my life and to our home. I feel so blessed to be getting to know you more and more each day.
Over the past few weeks I have been amazed to recognise how you confidently and accurately share so many feelings. You gurgle and make eye contact when you want to “chat.” You kick your legs and pump your arms when you are excited or see something interesting. You have a special cry for anger, for discomfort, for fear, and for exhaustion.
I have been enjoying so much all your coos and smiles and sleepy faces, and my heart nearly stopped beating when you shared your laugh for the first time last night.
Emotions are such a beautiful part of life. But sometimes, as you might notice later on, some people stop expressing them.
They might be afraid about what other people think. They might be worried about how they will explain themselves. They might wonder if they should even feel that way in the first place. They might prefer to push their feelings away rather than work through them.
But please: share your feelings, my daughter. Embrace the wide spectrum of emotions that fill your life each day. Listen to that voice deep down, open up to someone you trust, and never silence your heart. Expression takes courage, and often we can only find out who we truly are by letting go, speaking, and exchanging thoughts with others.
If you love something or someone, say it. Be happy! Dance and sing and create! Make the world beautiful!
Share disappointment or anger, even if it’s hard, just do it with respect. And even if you don’t know what to say until later, do not be afraid to open up and speak your heart. If you are tactful, only healing can come from it.
Please never hesitate to share the sad parts in life, either… if you are feeling lonely, if you have had a loss, or if you are scared, these are all important parts of life, too. Even when it’s difficult to talk about. Even if you think others don’t want to hear about it or won’t understand. Even if you are not sure exactly how to word it.
The words will come. And if they do not, don’t shy away from silence. Just be still and become comfortable with where you are in the moment.
I hope you will always know that I am here to listen to you, to love you, and to help you whenever I can. If I am not around at the moment you need me, please find friends who will listen. And remove yourself from any relationships that do not honour you and your voice. They are not worth your time or energy.
I love to see you express your feelings, and I pray that you will always be confident to do so.
Don’t let anyone ever tell you they are too much, or that you should hide them. Feeling deeply will make you a more compassionate, and passionate, person.
To read more in this series of letters, visit the Dear Daughter Archives.