Mothering children under five is not just what you see on Facebook. It is not only the smiles, the hugs, the proud parental moments, the family dinners, and the outings to fun (and seemingly tantrum-free) locations.
It is also all the work and sweat behind the scenes – the times that no one ever takes photos. The tears, the exhaustion, the frustration, the rising feeling that you are losing your sanity, the sweet release of stress after a 7pm bedtime, and of course the moments of humor and thankfulness woven in between.
As a dear friend told me the other day, it’s like the crazy is the norm.
Soon though, these years will all be gone and I know I will miss the moments when my boys run up with arms outstretched and huge smiles because they are just so happy to see me. The days they fight for who gets to sit on my lap. The times when they say, “I love your dress mommy” (when it’s an oversized grey t-shirt used as a nightgown) and laugh endlessly at funny faces over pancakes that are a little on the crunchy side.
They will be older – they will need my time a little less and need their own independence a little more. It will not be better or worse, but it will be different. And I am sure I will miss this period in time that they, in all ways imaginable, look up to me.
To remind myself of these fleeting feelings and opportunities to be happy in the moment, I have written:
The Busy Mom’s Guide to Gratitude
Look around you and, if you feel something is missing/frustrating/not-good-enough/or grating on your nerves, find something to be grateful for.
I am grateful for two children who have the strength and creativity to build and play games each day with whatever they can find around them, who are satisfied by only having my love and undivided attention, and who amaze me with their zest for learning and doing new things.
I am grateful for a house to live in, a place to call home, and a space to spend my days free of tyranny or violence.
I am grateful for food to eat, the resources to buy nutritious foods to feed my family, and the time to eat three meals and two snacks each and every day with my beautiful, growing children.
I am grateful I have children and a husband to wash clothes for, to dry clothes for, to sort clothes for – plus friends who pass on hand-me-downs and money to buy more pieces with.
I am grateful for all the appliances that help me do my household jobs – a dishwasher, a laundry machine, a microwave… oh and running water and electricity for them all to work.
I am grateful for nature and the awe-inspiring weather we have year long. Even if it may be very hot or very cold at times, the seasons remind us of the many cycles in life and how there is beauty and a lesson everywhere we look.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have received an education and the right to educate my children in the way I choose; to be free to follow my religion of choice; and to be allowed to express my opinions at home and in the community… all without fear of discrimination or worse.
I am grateful for the challenges that make life interesting and exciting – and the chance to be exhausted doing a job I love and cherish (and one in which I do not get penalized for struggling with – because I am my own boss).
I am grateful for the blessing of internet in today’s generation because, even though the vast amount of information can be overwhelming at times, it means I can stay connected with my family who live on the other side of the planet and get instant safety and health information in the case of illness or an emergency.
I am grateful to lay down each night with my kids, safe and sound, knowing that when they (inevitably) wake up at night at least they are alive and that I can offer them loving arms when they need them.
I am grateful for one more day to wake up and try again – to try once again to live, laugh, and love the best I can.
Even though I complain and struggle at times – deep down I am very, very grateful for the incredible gifts I have been given in my life. I am sure my circumstances will change in the years ahead, we can never know what is in store for us, but I am grateful knowing that I can strive and grow from every difficulty in my life.
I have so much to be grateful for if I only take the time to notice.
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What are you grateful for? Do you have any practices for remembering to feel gratitude each day? Please share in the comments.
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I am linking up to 52 Weeks of Grateful at Octavia and Vicky.
A beautiful post. There is so so much in the ordinary everyday to be grateful for. I loved this x
Thanks Elisa I just had a browse around your blog and love it – so glad to be in touch. 🙂
Love this. I have always been one to focus on what there is to be grateful for, but recently I have decided to make a more conscious effort to choose gratitude over grumbling whenever I am feeling down or frustrated. We would love for you to link this post up on our Summer of Gratitude page. It’s perfect for the season we are in at the Clubhouse! I am pinning to our Summer of Gratitude Pinterest board. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thanks Liz, I linked up! 🙂
Wonderful – i try to flip things this way when i feel cranky or down as well – what i focus on is important and it is so easy to see the mess, the noise, the drudgery of parenting and homemaking. when i bring it back to what i am blessed with and GET to do then it lightens the load and fills my heart. xx
So true Deb. I can easily get into a “I have to stay home and do all the work” mode but when I just put a timer of myself and GET OUT THE DOOR by a certain time, then we all do so much better with a few hours of fresh air. Then I can come home renewed to see more things to be grateful for and to continue with more household chores. They never end so it’s all about tweaking attitude to make them more enjoyable… 🙂
It’s all these little things that add up to make wonderful memories, isn’t it Chelsea? The silly fun moments are the ones that really matter when you think back.
With a 10 year old, I’m hoping that we get lots more of these little things, before it becomes uncool to hang out with your mum. 🙂
Yes for sure… things seem small and meaningless but they are what life is all about – the every day. Thanks for commenting!
Such a lovely post to read Chelsea and a good reminder to me to stop and really appreciate what I have and not to sweat so much on the small stuff all the time…it’s one of my bad habits.
Thanks for linking up for Mummy Mondays 🙂
We all need a reminder about what’s most important – very often 🙂 I sure do!
I love that image with your very wise words on it, very true. I have lined this up to share with my FB readers this week 🙂
Thanks Kylie 🙂 I had just made muffins with the boys and there was a huge pile of laundry on the table – which had been moved by my husband from the bed the night before since it hadn’t been done before bedtime LOL – so it seemed a good time to take a photo of the two together… of course with all the overnight and muffin dishes staring at me from the sink he he 🙂
p.s. I’m featuring your post in tomorrow’s gratitude link up 🙂
Thanks Kylie!
This is such a beautiful post. I feel like I could have written it myself yet a lot of it I needed to hear to put a positive spin on things I get bogged down with day to day. It’s so important to practice gratitude. Thank you for this!
Me too Lina – it’s so easy to forget… so it’s nice when mamas can remind each other 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
Such true sentiments Chelsea, we are blessed in many ways 🙂
I love posts like this that remind us to be grateful. I think we need gentle reminders.
We had to rush my son to emergency at the children’s hospital when he was 7 days old. He required bowel surgery when he was just 5 weeks old.
When I get frustrated that he’s not sleeping or he’s being a bit clingy I just remind myself of those first five weeks. I give him a big cuddle and thank God that he is with me now.