I’ve been blogging for quite a while now, and over the years I have received so many messages asking “How do you do it all?” and “What is your secret?”
First, let me say I do not do it all. You may see some great ideas and fun activities on this blog (or on my other websites) but you must know that this is not the whole story. There are many days my kids watch several DVDs; we eat take-outs or convenience foods for dinner; the house is a mess; I digress from our “daily routine.” Every day is a new adventure.
Since becoming a full-time mom nearly 5 years ago, we have hired various people to help, as well. At different points in time we have had a nanny for between 2 and 7 hours a week and a cleaner once a week (though we employ none at the present time). Recently my boys started attending home daycare for one day a week, and because we do not have any extended family around (or any in the same country, for that matter) I feel this is a huge sanity saver. I am very grateful we can afford it right now.
I am constantly searching for balance, trying to figure out how to enjoy the journey of motherhood with the current challenges, and looking for creative ways to get support that suit my family’s immediate situation.
Regardless of all the tips and experiences I can share, though, I have never found “the answer” and I am not even sure there is one. Life is constantly changing, our family enters new seasons, the kids grow and mature, and my own needs fluctuate as well. If you haven’t found “the answer” yet either, then I believe I can safely say that my family is just like yours.
Only one thing I know is for certain though – there is absolutely no way I could ever do it all. I do my best and I believe that is all I can do. I want my kids to know I am not perfect and do not expect myself to be, but that I grow every day and forgive myself so that I can move on and try again tomorrow. I hope they learn to live in a “learning mode” as well, so they are not crippled by unrealistic expectations as I once was.
This blog is a place where I share some of the positive learning I have found; the ideas I have compiled for myself to be a better parent; the activities I feel may be useful to other mamas with a similar vision going through a similar journey. I share photos of the joy and fun, the learning, and the love.
Please know, however, that there are often countless crumbs on my floor. Several loads of laundry waiting to be washed and several more to be folded. Toys under the couch and jam smears on the cabinet doors. Tantrums throughout the day and what seems like neverending wake-ups throughout the night. Milk missing from the fridge and a stash of lollipops to help the car stay quiet-ish (at least for ten minutes) during long car rides. Long overdue thank-you cards to be sent and a “to do” list a mile long…
My main message today is:
We are all in this together, going through the waking-feeding-washing-shopping-cleaning-cooking-teaching cycle of motherhood every day. And just because I happen to have a blog that records and shares some of the beautiful and uplifting parts of my personal journey doesn’t make me any more productive than you or anyone else… it simply means that I have decided to spend my “free” time blogging. As a writing-loving introvert who loves computer creativity, this pastime suits me very well.
You may have another hobby or choose to spend more time with family and friends. It is simply a choice and I can only hope that we both embrace our decisions wholeheartedly without judging anyone else, or ourselves.
So next time you browse my blog, or anyone else’s, and think, “How in the world do they do it all?” just remember that no one does it all. There is a lot behind this screen that you do not see; a lot of choices and challenges that I will never have time to share even if I wanted to. So take heart knowing we all have the same 24 hours a day, and it is simply our choice what to do with it.
If you are not perfect and your family is not either, please be assured that my family is just like yours.
If you are not a blogger, have you ever wondered how bloggers do it?
If you are a blogger, have you ever been intimidated by people thinking you “do it all”?
If you liked this post, you may also want to read this list.
Thank you to Sarah from one of my favorite blogs Frugal Fun for Boys for inspiring me to write this post after I read her article: Dispelling Any Potential Myths that I am Supermom. Sarah’s blog contains hundreds of creative and fun activities for “those who are not content to sit and color” (she’s a mother of four boys!) plus many more inspiring articles about parenting with values and faith. Check it out here.
thank you!!! beautifully put and very honest!! My family is just like yours!!! 🙂
Thanks for the comment Kim 🙂
rebecca at thisfineday
Your post is so true! I never post the crap, just the fun stuff. There is enough griping and complaining in the world and I want to share the stuff that went right and what worked and what may help someone else. Not to say I don’t sometimes enjoy a good vent, there are Mommy sites like that, and I enjoy them too, it’s just not my writing style 🙂
I agree Rebecca… I do like to vent every now and then, but it’s just not impossible to include it all and give the whole picture in one short article. It’s easy to think bloggers’ lives are so easy because all you see is happy faces. But I’m sure all the bloggers know this is not the case 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
Thanks for sharing this Chels! I do think you’re amazing:)On a personal level, your post helps me know that we go through similar types of stuff as mamas, and that we do what we can to keep sane and do what we love in our ‘spare’ moments. My one thing that I ABSOLUTELY love to do it read. After my two oldest, Bera and Zuri go to bed…and I am completely exhausted and my youngest Nila is needing to be walked, it is very common to find me walking in our backyard, swaying Nila to sleep as I read my beloved book! My shoulder might be screaming in pain but hey, I have my book:) Thanks for sharing your journey. It MUST take a lot of courage.
Ah reading. Something I used to do so much of but not any more since blogging so often. (Well, that is reading not online) Love to you and those girls!